


Sparks

by smolawkwardpotato



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Blood and Injury, F/M, Food Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Therapy, seriously it's a very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolawkwardpotato/pseuds/smolawkwardpotato
Summary: You are an enhanced human with the power to control electricity. When you come to the Avengers for help, you find more than you were looking for.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 120





	1. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A security breach at the Avengers tower leaves the team with more questions than answers.

“I don’t see why it’s fair that you get the last of the coffee again, when most of your blood is made of caffeine at this point anyway!” Clint said, pulling the pot away from Tony once more, a half-angry look on his face.

“That’s exactly the reason! I need that shit to survive, Legolas!” Tony slowly started to fall dramatically to his knees. “See? I’m already withering away to a husk! Now who will give you all of your fancy arrows, guess I’ll never know.” He ended up on the floor, tongue hanging out of his mouth and hand flung over his forehead dramatically.

“Fine, fine, you big drama queen.” Clint set down the pot on the counter with a huff. “You can have your stupid coffee, but I better have some cool-ass arrows after this.” Tony hopped up with a grin, grabbing the pot and opening the lid.

“This swig will be devoted entirely for you and your dope exploding arrows.” Tony declared before chugging the rest of the pot in one breath.

“You two really need to just get separate coffee pots.” Nat remarked with a chuckle from the couch. Clint just grumbled something vaguely insulting before sitting down with a plate of toaster waffles. Tony smirked triumphantly and speed-walked to the elevator, pressing the button for his lab and pulling up holograms on his watch. Steve walked in a few minutes later, light sweat on his hairline from his morning run as he poured a glass of orange juice.

“How did the interviews go yesterday, Steve? Is it really him?” Nat said quietly, looking up from her book. Steve paused before sighing and wiping a hand over his face.

“I think he really is Bucky. Fingerprints match his right hand, DNA on record matches as best as we can tell. He … remembers some things, things from when I was still a kid that no one alive could know but him. After that, he seemed to shut down, eyes unfocused and confused.” Steve took a drink of juice and sat down at the counter. “I don’t know how to break through to him. We’re bringing in a Psychoanalyst and a Psychiatrist tomorrow to try and help him, but I wish I could just-"

“Have him back?” Nat finished the sentence for him, Steve nodding with a solemn look on his face. “If even half of what we’ve found about the Winter Soldier is true, Steve, it could take months or even years for his mind to heal. No one is capable of coming through that kind of treatment unscathed. It will be okay.” Nat reassured him while putting down her book. She walked over to him and leaned on the counter. “You need to give him time. And give yourself time, too. You work too hard.” She flicked his arm and turned, walking away.

“Sirs and Madam, there has been a security breach on the lower levels.” Jarvis alerted, shutting all of the blinds to the windows and locking the stairwell.

“What? What’s the status, where are they heading?” Steve shouted to the ceiling, jumping up and running out of the kitchen.

“They are attempting to come up the elevator, Captain. There is only one assailant as far as my securi- can tell, -ey are woun-ed, short cir- my sys-.” Jarvis said before cutting out, short bursts of dialogue broken up by electronic buzzing before going dark. The lights flickered in the room before turning off with a spark, the elevator dinging with each floor it passed. The numbers on the floor screen jumped back and forth, the screen glitching before also shutting off. The elevator doors opened slightly, stopping as the elevator shut down. A figure limped out of the opening with electricity jumping in arcs all around their body, illuminating many bloody wounds across their skin.

“P-please, help me,” The figure collapsed in front of the doors, a few stray jolts leaping around their clothing before going dark, the lights and systems slowly coming back online. Steve looked at Nat and Clint, all three of them holding defensive positions in disbelief.

* * *

You knew that you had to find help. The sharp, throbbing pains in your side told you that. However, the problem was where the help should come from. You couldn’t go home; you don’t know where that is. You couldn’t go to the hospital; they would lock you up in a nuthouse. You didn’t know where was safe. You didn’t know where you could go. A huge tower loomed in your view, shivers running up your spine along with crackles of static. You pushed past the small crowd of people rushing past on the busy sidewalk, pushing in the door. Immediately you’re greeted by a security checkpoint, metal detectors and guards blocking your way.

“Ma’am, you’ll need to put all metallic items, notepads, and devices in the bucket for inspection.” Said the guard to your left, gesturing to a plastic tub. You groaned softly, holding your ribs and shook your head, gulping in a few breaths as you felt the jolts start to build up.

“Ma’am, can you hear me? You need to comply, or you will not be able to enter the building.” Said a voice to your right. Colors melted together in your view as you felt the electricity jump out from your body, frying the metal detectors and throwing back the guards who had come close to you.

“I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry.” You sob as you limp your way through the smoking metal arches, a blaring alarm starting to sound with red flashing lights. You put one hand over your ear, holding your ribs with your other, trying to find somewhere to go. You could hear shouting voices all around you, yelling and trying to get your attention before shooting at the walls near you. You screamed, sending out more bolts of painful lightning out of you and falling to your knees to crawl along the wall. The alarm seemed to only get louder as you made your way towards an elevator.

“Ma’am, I suggest you give up and surrender to the security. You are in one of the most secure facilities in the United States, and in your current state you do not have a chance of success.” A male voice said from a speaker in the ceiling.

“Please h-help me, please.” You sobbed, slamming your fist against the call button and sending sparks flying. The voice died almost immediately, the elevator opening only partially for you to crawl inside. You slammed your hands once more on the buttons, trying desperately to get to a floor with someone to help you. The lights flickered and cut out, the voice trying to reach you again before fading. You pulled yourself up with a raspy moan of pain, arcs of electricity jumping across your body and making everything hyper-focused and even more painful.

You looked down, seeing two new bloody wounds on your abdomen that you don’t remember from before. The elevator hummed its way up, the alarm still blaring; the ebb and flow of sound with each floor making you sway with nausea. The movement stopped after a few tense seconds, the doors opening partially once more as you walked through. You could barely see a few tense figures in the dim light, poised with weapons and staring at you before you could get to them.

“P-please, help me.” You breathed, darkness taking your vision once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! These chapters are short so that I can make them as good as I can while still getting content out to you. Please leave kudos and a comment/question down below. Happy trails!


	2. Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in a strange room, seemingly being taken care of. You try to give answers to your saviours, but leave them with more questions than they started with.

The first thing you noticed when you came to consciousness was pain. Heated, radiating pain going throughout your whole body. You had become used to it, but to go however long you were asleep without it made it fresh and biting. You groaned softly, shifting your sore muscles and trying to get a feel for your surroundings. You were on a bed, the crinkling plastic sheets telling you that it was a hospital bed. As you tried to move your hands, they stopped after a few inches, restrained with cuffs made from an unknown metal. You stopped moving after sweat started to bead on your forehead in pain. Opening your eyes, you were in a square featureless room, IVs hooked up to your arms from a stand in the corner. Other than that, there was nothing in the room other than silence and a few dim fluorescent lights.

“Hello?” you croaked, almost silently, looking around in the dim room for anyone to answer. You tried working moisture back in your scratchy throat to no avail. “Can I please have some water?”

“Ma’am, I’m sure that you know we need to ask you some questions first.” A voice said from a speaker system. “What were your intentions when entering the Avengers tower?”

“The what tower? I was trying to find help, I-I’m hurt.” You scrunched up your face in confusion. “Can I please have some water? I’ll do whatever you want, I promise.” You were met with silence on the other end. You sat there for several minutes before your head fell back on the thin pillow, eyes watering with unshed tears. The door in the corner of the room opened to a tall man with blond hair wearing a suit of what looked like rubber pads. He looked at you with a grimace, walking towards you slowly as if you would jump out at him.

“I promise I won’t hurt you, sir, not on purpose.” You whispered, sitting up on your elbows and hunching over. A look of brief confusion flashed across his face before disappearing. He approached your bed and held out the cup and straw, water swishing slightly. You took the straw in your mouth and drank deeply, the liquid a balm to your painful throat. You drank until there was nothing left but stray drops clinging to the straw as you sat back. “What do you want me to do?” You said after swallowing. The man looked back at the door. Following his gaze, you can see a small camera in the corner that you didn’t notice before.

“Who are you, and why did you attack the Avengers tower?” He said, looking back at you.

“I told you, I don’t know what the Avengers tower is. I haven’t attacked anything.” You looked at him with confusion again before looking down. “My name is Plasma,” you muttered. You looked up in embarrassment at the blond man. “You can call me something else if you want, though, if I have to stay with you now.” You said in a rush, trying not to upset him.

“What do you mean, call you something else? Is that your name or not?”

“It’s what I’ve been called, but it’s been changed before.” You shifted with a grimace, trying to lay back down.

“How did you get hurt, Plasma?” He gestured to your hastily bandaged abdomen.

“There was…a car crash, I think. I don’t remember a lot. I was being scolded for not performing up to standard when the car got hit with something, and something went into my side. I got out of the car, but didn’t know where to go so I just walked until I got help.” You frowned. “I don’t know how long I walked until I got to the big building. I tried to use my sweater to stop the bleeding, since no one seemed to notice when I was walking around. How did I get here?” You asked, looking around the room. “I thought I went up in an elevator to someone’s house. If I hurt someone, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Your eyes started to water again as you sniffed. The man watched you with a hard look in his eyes before turning and leaving, the cup still in his hand.

“Please, I’m sorry! Please don’t leave me alone!” You cried after him, pulling painfully at your cuffs before falling back down to the bed. You turned over and curled into yourself as best you could, the stress catching up to you in bitter, biting sobs.

You aren’t sure how much time passed before you woke again, wincing once more as you opened your eyes. A different man was with you now, one with dark hair and glasses and also wearing the rubber pads. He was smoothing over a new bandage over your stomach, replacing the blood-soaked sweater that was now on a table next to the bed. He glanced up at you with a hesitant expression before holding up a small tray.

“You have some pretty nasty shrapnel wounds, Plasma. Are you sure you were in a car accident?” He said, taping up the gauze and moving to your arm.

“Yes, I was in a car. Something hit it on the side where the Professor sat, and stuff went flying through the windows and hit me. The car went to the side of the road really fast, but I don’t think it flipped over. I opened the door and then started walking, like I told the blond man.” The dark-haired man looked up at you simultaneously confused and amused.

“The blond man?”

“The man who gave me water? He was in here earlier. He wore the same outfit as you.” You said, pointing at the rubber pads. “Are those because of me? The Professor wore something like that too. I hope I didn’t hurt any of you.” The man sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing serious. The guards got off with some burns and sore muscles, but nothing the hospital can’t treat.” He grabbed a pair of tweezers. “This is going to hurt.”

“Can you let me move my hands a little more? That way if the sparks come I can try and shock myself instead of you.” You said, looking up at him. He hesitated before shaking his head.

“I would, but I’m not allowed to. Trust me when I say I can take the shock if it happens.” You shrugged and looked away while squeezing shut your eyes, waiting for the pain. He probed the large gash in your bicep, focusing in on something and slowly inserting the tweezers. You whined softly, clenching your jaw as you felt him grab on to something and pull, sparks following the shard of metal as you cried out and fresh blood started to pool in the wound. He quickly dropped the metal in the same tray as before, pressing a gauze pad to your arm to stop the bleeding. You sniffed and looked down, unclenching your jaw.

“Sorry for that.” He said, taping down another layer of bandages.

“It’s okay. Thank you for taking them out and taping me up. It’s very nice of you.” He looked at you with a curious expression on his face. “So, when can I pay you both back? I’m assuming that it will have to wait until I’m better, unless you want me to still be cuffed. I can do that, but it would be a bit harder.” You looked up at him as he looked down at you confused.

“Pay us back? What do you mean? With information?”

“No, I mean…” You frowned. “I don’t have any information. I assumed since you both did something good for me I need to do something good for you.”

The man looked down on you as he seemed to realize something and immediately turned green in his cheeks, like he was about to throw up. He dropped the tray and walked quickly out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“I’m sorry! I’ll give you whatever you want! I promise! Please!” You cried out once more, being left in the dim room alone. You closed your eyes and cursed yourself, breathing deeply now that your stomach no longer had something wedged in it. You looked at the camera in the corner, but the soft red light gave you no comfort and no answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm trying to get chapters out with the quality that I want, so some may be shorter than others. Tags will be added as needed. Leave any suggestions/questions below. Happy trails!


	3. Scattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are asked a lot of questions, some that you can easily answer and some that you can't. How can the team prove you aren't a threat when you don't even know who you are?

“Of course she’s a threat! You think that anyone can just waltz into the fucking Avengers' tower and shut down your whole security grid and not be a threat?” Fury paced back and forth in front of the small cell, watching the girl through the two cameras in the room. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Even if she’s telling the truth, which I still am highly doubtful of, she needs to be neutralized. That lightning shit nearly killed two people and she wasn’t even trying, who knows what she could do!”

“Director, I’ve dealt with a lot of liars in my life. You get to know when someone’s bullshitting you.” Natasha spoke up from the corner where she was sitting. “She’s telling the truth. It’s hard to believe but based on what I’ve seen she has no idea what’s going on.”

“Don’t pull that super spy bullshit on me, Romanov. We both know that your radar isn’t foolproof. Doesn’t know who the Avengers are? Doesn’t know where she is? But happened to just walk into one of the most secure buildings in the U.S. without a problem? Not on my watch.” He walked over to the speaker system; finger poised on the push to talk button before Bruce grabbed his wrist.

“Director Fury. I understand what you’re saying. I understand she’s a threat. But she needs to be treated like a person before an animal. Let us try and get some info about her and figure out if she is or isn’t telling the truth. The things she was saying don’t make sense for someone actively trying to kill us.”

Fury glared at Bruce for a few moments before yanking his hand out of the grip. Putting his hands on his hips, he looked back to the rest of the small group made up of Steve, Natasha, Clint, and Tony.

“If _anything_ starts to smell like bullshit from down here, she’s coming straight to me, got it?” The rest nodded as he started to leave. “You’ve got a week to clear her or she’s coming to HQ.” The doors to the elevator slammed shut behind him, tension getting cut along with it. Bruce let out a deep breath and rubbed the back of his head. A noise started to cut in through the speakers, movement on the cameras prompting them to gather around the small surveillance setup.

“Hello?” the girl said groggily, sitting up. When no one answered, she laid down again, shoulders curling in on themselves. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I did something wrong, I promise that I’ll be good. I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t leave me alone.” A wet sob bubbled out of her before silence once again blanketed the room.

“Jesus.” Bruce sighed, taking off his glasses. “I’m going back in there.”

“Are you sure, Bruce?” Steve said, putting his hand on Bruce’s shoulder. He nodded and turned towards the door, grabbing the rubber pads and putting them on before stepping inside. As the door opened, the quiet sounds of your crying filtered through before stopping with the click of a latch.

* * *

You had tried to be quiet, hoping your tears didn’t anger them further and leave you alone forever. You stared at the ceiling, trying to blink away the wetness in your eyes before you heard the door open quietly. You looked up, seeing the dark-haired man enter with a sad look on his face.

“I promise I’ll be good, I promise. I don’t know a lot, but I’ll tell you whatever I know.” You said in a rush, hiccupping softly as tears fell down your face.

“Please- You don’t have to worry about that.” He said, holding up a silencing hand. “First things first. Do you know who I am? Or the other man you’ve seen?” He said, sitting on the edge of your bed. You looked at him with confusion.

“No? Am I supposed to? Are you one of the Professor’s friends?” You asked, sniffing. The dark-haired man sighed and shook his head.

“You can call me Bruce. Who is the Professor?”

“He’s my keeper right now. At least, I think so. If I’m with you, then you are my keepers I guess.” You frowned and looked to the door. “Is the Professor ok? Did he make it out of the crash?”

“We- We’re still trying to verify where and when the crash happened, Plasma. What did the Professor look like?”

“Um, well, he’s not bald but has very short hair, he’s kinda the same height as you, he wears something on one of his eyes, like…” You looked at Bruce with an appraising gaze. “Like if your glasses only were on one eye, and was attached to your face. He doesn’t talk like you, either, his voice sounds different.” Bruce takes in this information and takes a deep breath.

“What do you mean when you say that he’s your keeper? Is he your dad?” You giggled.

“No, he’s not my dad. I never met my dad. He’s who’s keeping me right now. A different guy used to keep me, he was taller with sandy hair, but I…” You stopped, swallowing thickly and looking up at Bruce ashamedly. “I didn’t make him happy enough, I don’t think. I wasn’t good enough. So he gave me to the Professor.” Bruce turned green a little again, but took a few deep breaths and the color faded. “Are you ok, Bruce? Are you sick?”

“N-no, Plasma, I’m not sick. Sometimes… when I get angry, I turn a little green.”

“Oh. Kinda like when I spark?”

“Yes. Like when you spark. Is that why the Professor… kept you?"

“Probably. That and I would help him with other things. He liked my company sometimes, and he liked to study the sparks when they came out.” Bruce nodded, rubbing the back of his head.

“When you said you wanted to repay us, what do you mean by that? You’ve already said you don’t know much.” You blushed a bit, shifting in your cuffs.

“W-well, I mean…” You stuttered, worrying the inside of your lip and nodding your head towards Bruce suggestively. “I’m not actually supposed to ask about it in detail unless he tells me to.” Bruce turned a strange mixture of green and red, standing up and folding his hands in front of his chest.

“D-Don’t worry about that, you don’t have to do anything like that while you’re here.” He avoided your gaze, turning to the camera. “I’m coming out.”

“Please don’t leave me alone, I won’t ask again, I’m sorry!” You pulled at your cuffs, beginning to panic. Bruce stopped short at the door, looking back at you.

“You won’t be alone, Plasma.” As he left, a woman with short red hair walked in. She wasn’t wearing the rubber pads like Bruce or the blond man, and sat down next to you on the bed. She looked at you for a few moments, making you blush and look away before she spoke.

“I’m going to describe a few people, and I want you to tell me if any of them sound familiar, okay, Plasma?” She said with a tilt of her head. You nodded slowly, looking up at her. She gave you a small smile and you smiled back automatically, feeling a little less awkward.

“First person. He has short brown hair, tattoos on his arms, and is very strong. He is very good at fighting, both with his hands and with a gun. His last name is Rumlow. Does he sound familiar?” You closed your eyes, trying to picture him in your mind.

“He kinda sounds like someone I saw with the professor once, but the name isn’t familiar.”

“Did the man have a name?”

“I’m not sure. I was in my room and was peeking out of the door, so I didn’t hear very well. They were talking for a while, but it didn't seem like he worked for the Professor since I only saw him once. He had a tattoo of a cross in a circle on his left arm and was holding a helmet with white paint on the front.” The woman nodded, glancing at the camera in the corner before turning back to you.

“The next person is also a man. He has long brown hair, and a metal arm. He’s also very strong. He might have not had a name, or just been called a soldier if you knew him.” You shook your head.

“I’ve never seen anyone with a metal arm before. The Professor was pretty careful not to let a lot of metal be around me, he said it was ‘asking for trouble’.” You said while making small air quotations with your hands. The woman huffed out a small chuckle, taking you in once more.

“I’m going to ask you some questions now, and I want you to be as honest as you can with me, okay?” You nodded, fidgeting nervously. “Do you know where you were being kept?”

“Some kind of house, maybe? I had a room with a bed and a sink, but it didn’t seem like houses in pictures, more like this room, but small.” You said, looking around.

“Do you know where you were going when the car crashed?”

“The Professor was taking me somewhere where there were things he could use to study my sparks.” You said slowly. “I’m not sure where that was, but he said something about being close to a breakthrough.” The woman nodded again, taking in the information and sitting in silence. “C-Can I ask you some questions?” She looked up at you with a curious eye.

“You may, but I can’t guarantee I’ll have answers for you.”

“First off, what are your and the blond man’s names? Bruce gave me his and I feel kind of awkward just calling you by your hair color.” You said softly, blushing. The woman laughed, out loud this time.

“You can call me Nat. The blond man is called Steve.” You nodded, repeating the names and committing them to memory.

“Second, is there a way I can use the bathroom?” The woman tilted her head and chuckled.

“I’ll see what I can do Plasma. In the meantime, is there anything else you would rather we call you? Or do you like being called Plasma?”

“Well, I’ve been called a lot of things. Plasma, Toril, Stormie, Gale, Flicker, and… some other things that weren’t as nice.”

“Hmm. Think on it. I’m going to go check on your toilet privileges.” Nat got up and walked to the door. “I’ll leave the door open a little, ok? So you can see us.” You relaxed a little from your quickly panicking state, nodding and looking out the door as best as you could. She moved a chair in front of the door from the outside room, propping it open. You saw two men you didn’t recognize, Steve, and Bruce waiting outside. You waved a few fingers in your cuffs and gave a small smile. You could hear hushed voices, Bruce seeming green again and the others backing away slightly. You set your head back on the pillow, confused but a little less scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter was a little longer and dialogue-heavy than I meant it to be, but hey, things happen, right? Anyway, the kudos and kind words I've gotten have been so awesome to come back to. Leave any questions/concerns/suggestions down below. I'll update tags as I go and try to keep chapters coming out regularly. Thank you guys and Happy trails!


	4. Summoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve brings in a man to talk to you, learning more about both of your pasts.

“I think it’s pretty obvious what this girl’s been through.” Nat said, looking hard at the others while Bruce nodded. “Trying to pay us back all the time, not scared of us as strangers, worried about hurting us, not wanting to be left alone. She obviously doesn’t know names but Rumlow was definitely part of her life at some point.”

“How old is she even?” Tony said, looking at the girl through the crack in the door, watching her pick at her blanket.

“There’s no way of telling at the moment other than speculation, but based on cognition and body proportions, she’s probably in her early twenties. I’d have to do some tests to find out for sure unless she knows, which I doubt.” Bruce replied, rubbing his temple. Steve was turned away from the group, staring at the camera feed with a tense jaw. Clint walked over to him, tapping his arm.

“You alright, Cap? The screen will start melting if you keep staring that hard.”

“What if she didn’t know?” Steve said without looking.

“Know…what, buddy?”

“Know him. What if his arm was covered? If she was with Rumlow, Buck had to be somewhere nearby.”

“I mean, it’s a possibility, but how would we know?” Clint said, looking at the girl in the monitor.

“I’m bringing him in.” Steve turned and started walking. Nat and Tony quickly stepped in front of him.

“Woah, Capsicle, you think that’s a good idea? We only just got him in, he’s barely stable enough for a psychiatrist, not a terrified woman.”

“Let me through, Tony. I’ll be in there with him. The door will stay open. I need to know.”

“If Fury finds out, it’ll be your head, Rogers.” Nat said, but stepped aside.

* * *

Steve opened the door, eyes falling on bucky sitting exactly where he left him the day before. Hair had fallen in front of his face, hands clasped together and cuffed, still as a corpse with the faintest movement from his breathing.

“Buck, I have someone downstairs for you to meet.” Steve said, standing in the doorway. Bucky’s eyes drifted up, staring emptily into his before nodding, standing and walking towards him with his hands in front of him. Steve swallowed thickly and guided Bucky in front of him with a hand on his shoulder. Bucky walked with heavy steps, keeping in pace with the bare minimum of effort and keeping his eyes down. As they stepped into the elevator, Steve stepped away from him.

“It’s a woman, early twenties, came in yesterday with shrapnel wounds from an apparent car crash.” Bucky made no response, as if he couldn’t even hear the words. “We want to know if either of you know each other, as… she might have known Rumlow.” Bucky’s shoulders tensed at that, but he made no other moves. Steve sighed as the elevator doors opened.

* * *

“Now, Plasma. We’re bringing in someone to meet you. It’s the man with the metal arm Nat told you about earlier.” Bruce told you, bringing you back from the bathroom and pulling your IV cart along. “You may or may not recognize him from being with the Professor. He’s been through a lot, so he may not talk much or even at all. I need to set a few rules.” He helped you sit down on the bed once more, adjusting the IVs so they laid straight again.

“Don’t make loud noises, like yelling or screaming. I recommend trying your best to keep the sparks to a minimum if you can control that. Steve will be in here with both of you, in case something happens, okay?” You nodded, laying your head down tiredly.

“Do I need to do anything for him?” You swallowed thickly as he picked up another cup of water. He fumbled slightly with the cup at your question before shaking his head.

“N-No, you don’t have to. We just want you two to meet and maybe learn something about both of you.” You let out a soft sigh of relief, sitting up and drinking. Bruce left, leaving the door open again and you closed your eyes as you waited. You heard a door open and close with footsteps approaching off in the distance. Murmuring voices and shuffling followed but you could only make out a few spare words pertaining to the rubber suits Bruce and Steve have been wearing. Silence fell over the room outside and you heard the chair being removed from the door. You opened your eyes and your gaze fell on Steve and another man; He had shoulder-length brown hair and stubble along his jaw. You let your eyes drift down to his left arm, mostly covered in a sleeve but with metal fingers at the bottom. Blue eyes looked at you in shock, and you looked back at him with confusion.

“How do I know you? You look so familiar.” You murmured. The man did not blink or react, just staring at you.

“жук-светляк.” He murmured, stepping forward a step before stopping, looking at Steve. “Where did you find her? Why is she here?” His voice was raspy and low, speaking quickly with panicked confusion in his tone.

“How do you know her, Buck? Where have you seen her?”

“She was with Strucker, in his lab, she- she was one of his experiments.” He said, looking back at you. “She never knew me, I don’t think. I don’t know. When she got too tired, I would guard her and make sure she didn’t hurt anyone. I could take the shocks better than anyone else.”

“I think I remember. I didn’t know you were real, though. I thought you were just a dream when I was too tired after working with the Professor. I didn’t know you had a metal hand, either. The professor didn’t like metal around me.” You said, trying to think back to those times, remembering the vague shadow of a man by the door to your room, watching you with arms crossed.

“I had to keep it covered. Ruml-…” The man stopped, wiping his face. “He said it would give me away. He told me that if I was given away, I would have to kill them, or get… get wiped again.” The man looked back up at you, a strange look in his eyes. “But she never… _you_ never found out, жук-светляк. You were always so tired when I was around. Covered in bruises or electricity buzzing under your skin. Didn’t notice me mostly unless you were mumbling under your breath and asking me questions.”

“What do those words mean that you keep saying, sir? They don’t make any sense.”

“It’s… They’re Russian words. They mean something like… like lightning bug? жук-светляк. They never told me your name, just that you were my mission sometimes. But I called you that in my head. You seemed too different than my other missions.” You tried sounding out the words quietly to yourself, but gave up after a few moments.

“I don’t know what Russian means, but it sounds very nice.” You smiled at Steve and the other man, fidgeting with your blanket. “I’m sorry I didn’t remember you.”

“It’s alright. I didn’t expect you to. Didn’t even know you were still…” The man trailed off at the end, hanging his head. The little bit of his eyes you could see seemed to shut down, a glazed look slowly spreading over his face.

“That’s enough Steve, let the Manchurian Candidate go process this mess.” One of the other men said from the outside room, breaking the tense silence that had settled over everyone. The man and Steve left the room, leaving the door open slightly as you laid back in the bed once more, turning over the new information in your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out, I had some issues but things are getting better. As always, if you have any comments/questions/requests, let me know in the comments below! Excuse my badly translated Russian, as well. Corrections are welcome. Happy trails, everyone!


	5. Splintered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to remember some more of your past, while Bucky reconciles with himself and his own.

_You were sleeping in your room, curled under your thin blanket on the mattress. You whine softly and stir as the door opens, trying to go back to sleep._

_“Shh, sei ruhig, kleiner Funke. I’ll only be here a little while.” You hear the soft voice of the Professor. You sigh tiredly, turning over and squinting your eyes open._

_“What do you want me to do?” You slurred quietly, rubbing your eyes._

_“Just lay there, kleiner Funke. I need to do some work.” He pulled out some wires with pads on the end, laying them across your chest and attaching them in several places. You squirmed, not liking the sticky feeling, but relaxing after a while._

_“Glaubst du, du kannst mir helfen, kleiner Funke? Can you spark for me? I need to take some readings, Schatz.”_

_“But I already did so much today, Professor. Can’t I sleep some more?” You mumbled, pouting._

_“I need the data. Spark for me, or I’ll make you.” The professor’s face leaned over yours, the glint of his monocle just barely visible in the dark room._

_“I’m so tired, Professor. Please?” The Professor sighed, pursing his lips and sitting back on his heels as his voice hardens._

_“You know what I’m going to say. Do it now, Blitzhure. I don’t like having to ask twice.” You bit your lip, wincing and focusing hard. You felt weak buzzing in your lips and fingers, stopping after a few seconds and panting._

_“I can’t, Professor, I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”_

_“You need to try harder. You need to spark for me now or I’ll have to make you.”_

_“I can’t, I can’t, Professor, I’m too tired. I’m sorry.” You started to cry, backing up wearily on the bed. The Professor sighed once more taking a collapsible rod from his side and extending it. He raised his hand, bringing the rod down quickly towards your stomach._

You wake with a scream, sparks fluttering between your fingers. You looked around quickly, phantom pain ebbing away as you lock eyes with Bruce, who was in the middle of replacing your IV bag. It was several days after Steve had brought the man - _Bucky_ \- down to meet you, but you were making slow progress. The bandages had stopped coming away bloody every time someone changed them and you had been allowed to take off the cuffs for periods of time but you still didn’t know much, and couldn’t control your electricity like you used to. You looked up at him, looking away just as quickly with an embarrassed flush to your face. You sniffed and wiped your tears, making sure to avert your gaze 

"Are you okay? You were... talking in your sleep.” Bruce said softly, taking down the empty bag.

“Did I hurt anyone?” Bruce shook his head. “Then I’m okay. Thank you, Bruce.” He looked like he was about to say something before sighing and walking away. He stopped halfway, though, looking back at you.

“Did… Did the Professor hurt you a lot?” You looked up at him and worried the inside of your lip, shrugging. “Plasma. I need to know if there might be pre existing damage somewhere.” You became fascinated with a straying thread on the blanket before nodding slowly.

“It was usually my fault though.” You said quickly, looking up with tear-filled eyes. “If I didn’t do something right, or didn’t do what he asked, or something. He said that when I misbehaved that made him look bad, made results come out wrong, and I didn’t want to be bad. I wanted to be good so that he wouldn’t… wouldn’t give me away again.” You rambled.

“Plasma, you do know that what he was doing was wrong, right?” Bruce walked towards you, stopping at the foot of your bed. “That the things he said and did were wrong. No-one deserves to be hurt or used or… or _gifted_ like that.” You frowned slightly. You _knew_ that he was right, but a little voice in the back of your head whispered that he was wrong, you were bad and bad people deserve bad things. You shook your head to rid yourself of it.

“I guess.” You whispered, wiping your nose. You could hear Bruce sigh before walking back towards the door. “Is the man- Bucky, is he okay?” Bruce looked back at you with a hard-to-read gaze.

“He’s shaken but fine. Why do you ask?”

“He seemed so sad when he saw me. I felt bad. I remembered… _remember_ him. More and more. Still not a lot, but I can see him still sometimes when I sleep. Like he’s supposed to be there or something so my dreams just put him in there. Will you tell him something for me?” Bruce listened, not moving from his stance at the door. “Will you tell him that… that жук-светляк is sorry if she hurt him, and is happy to see him again?” You say, fumbling slightly over the words. A flash of a smile went across Bruce’s lips before he nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do. Might need Natasha to help me with the Russian, but I’ll try.” You nodded with a smile and laid back down on the bed, trying to breathe through the remaining panic.

* * *

“James, can you look at me?” The woman said, smiling warmly as she looked across the table at him. He shifted, looking up at her for a few seconds before his eyes wandered slightly. “Thank you, James. Do you think you can answer a few more questions for me? We’re almost done and then you can rest some more.”

“Yes.” Bucky said softly, still looking at the woman’s shoulder, eye contact too hard. His own shoulders tensed slightly, fingers flexing under the table.

“Now, if any of these are uncomfortable for you, you’re allowed to say you would rather not answer. You have free will.” She looked back down at her notebook for a second before continuing. “When did the Winter Soldier first start to remember who you were?” Bucky hesitated for a moment, running his hand through his hair.

“I… _He_ first started when he saw the man on the bridge.” He said slowly. “He saw him, and the man called the Winter Soldier ‘Bucky’, and the Winter Soldier thought he remembered something. Something from before.” Familiar images flashed in his mind as he recalled the sensation. Like seeing clips of a movie behind frosted glass. Snow, a train, mountains surrounding him. “When he asked his handlers about it, they-” He stopped, swallowing and shaking his head.

“Thank you for telling me, James. Now, when you saw the girl, what was your first thought? Was it the same sensation as the Winter Soldier’s? Or was it different?”

“Same. Different. Hard to tell. My first thought was just, ‘She’s alive. She’s alive.’ I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t seen her since… Since I was- _with_ him.” Bucky looked up confusedly at the woman. She smiled and nodded slightly, writing something down. “I felt… happy. Happy to see her. I was always happy when she was my mission again. Her being my mission meant that… meant that she was alive, that I didn’t have to kill anyone, I didn’t have to hurt anyone, just. Just keep someone safe. My жук-светляк.”

“I’m sure that the Winter Soldier was appreciative of that. I’m glad you could share that with me, James. I think that’s enough for the day. Do you have any questions before I leave?” She put down her notepad, the pen on top of it, while taking her glasses off. Bucky looked down again, thinking.

“Is she okay? She looked hurt, and Steve said she had bad shrapnel wounds. Could I see her do you think?” His words came out in a quiet rush, his fingers pulling at each other.

“I don’t know her condition at the moment, but if you ask Steve or Bruce, they would be able to tell you. As for seeing her, I don’t know if I’m even supposed to know about her, so I wouldn’t be able to make that decision.” The woman said, chuckling softly. The door opened behind her, and a man in a black security uniform leaned in.

“Dr. Hagerson, your session is over.” The woman nodded, standing and looking at Bucky.

“Remember, James. You have free will. Although there may be rules to keep you and others safe, you no longer are under someone else’s control. You are your own person.” Bucky nodded softly, his leg shaking almost imperceptibly under the table. As she left, Bruce knocked at the door before coming in and shutting it behind him.

“I know you need time to rest, but I have a message from Plasma for you.” Bucky’s eyes shot up to Bruce’s, his hands falling to the table. “She said for me to tell you that, ‘жук-светляк is sorry if she hurt him, and is happy to see him again’.” Bucky smiled then, a real smile, for only a few seconds before it fell again, the muscles almost not used to the action anymore. He nodded, rubbing his metal hand and looking down at the table. “I would have told you yesterday, but Natasha had to help me with the Russian.”

“You… You did well. How is she, is she okay?”

“She’s getting better. The gash on her stomach is closed finally, scabbed but stable, and the one on her arm is basically just scar tissue at this point. She’s being moved to a different room today, one closer to all of us.” Bruce glanced up at the camera by the door before clearing his throat and talking quieter. “Director Fury has decided to stop being such a hard-ass. We filled out the paperwork for her to start training with us. Maybe not to full Avengers-level, but enough to control her enhancement and maybe help us if need be, seeing as she doesn’t have anywhere else to go.” Bucky took in all of this, relaxing in degrees when Bruce finished.

“Do you think I could… could see her at some point? I’d like to see her.” Bruce cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

“I’d have to see what I can do. I don’t have the most deciding power on the team, but I think -in my medical opinion- you’ve both proved that you’re at least stable enough to not be prisoners. You’re both just people in pain that need a helping hand.”

“Thank you, Bruce. I’m… I’m grateful.” Bruce nodded, turning and leaving the room. Bucky wiped a hand across his face and then through his hair, turning the girl’s message around in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! As the tags suggest, this is quite the slow-burn, so thanks for sticking around. As always, tags will be updated as needed, and feel free to leave comments, suggestions, and questions down below. Excuse the badly/loosly translated German/Russian, once again. Happy Trails!
> 
> Translations:  
> Shh, sei ruhig, kleiner Funke. = Shh, be quiet little spark.  
> kleiner Funke = little spark  
> Glaubst du, du kannst mir helfen, kleiner Funke? = Do you think you can help me, little spark?  
> Blitzhure = Lightning whore  
> Schatz = Sweetheart
> 
> жук-светляк = loosely translated from Belarusian/Russian as 'Lightning Bug'


	6. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to settle into your new life, exploring your surroundings as the group decides what to do next.

You stood in the doorway, a bed, dresser, and desk staring back at you. You were flanked by Steve and another man, Tony, who was currently talking.

“So, door on the right has the bathroom and shower, door on the left is your closet. I, uh, didn’t know your tastes, so it’s bare for right now, but you have permission to decorate later if you want to.” Tony said, flicking on the light switch and flooding the room with fluorescent light.

“Thank you, Tony. I- I appreciate it.” You walked in, opening the closet and looking in. A few pairs of SHIELD-issued loungewear were hanging, and some pairs of tennis shoes sat next to a laundry hamper.

“You’ll have to tell me if they don’t fit. I didn’t really want to come and measure you while you were still zonked out.” You chuckled and nodded.

“I appreciate it. Is there anything I can do to-” Tony cut you off with a hand before you could continue.

“No. There’s no debt here, no tasks to be repaid. As long as you don’t hurt anyone _on purpose_ , don’t worry about it, ok?” You swallowed thickly, staring at the floor before nodding. You had been told that several times now, but it was so hard to believe it. Tony seemed to sense your internal conflict, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Would you… like to see the rest of the floor? You’re bunking with a few others.” You nodded, walking towards him with a small smile.

“Who am I staying with? People I’ve met?”

“Yup. Natasha, Clint, and, eventually, Sergeant Barnes.” Your eyes flicked up to his, confusedly.

“Who are Clint and Sergeant Barnes? I only recognize Natasha’s name.”

“Clint’s basically her partner in not-crime, he goes by Hawkeye when he’s trying to be edgy. Sergeant Barnes you’ve technically met. The dude with the metal arm, Bucky.” You tilted your head, thinking.

“I thought, with the way everyone was talking about Bucky that he worked with the Professor or something, and you guys don’t like the Professor? Why is he staying here?” Steve sighed, eyes going to the ceiling before speaking.

“Long story short, when he was working… in tandem with the ‘Professor’, he was being controlled. He wasn’t himself. Somehow, he broke free a while ago. He made his way here, turned himself in, and is trying to get better.” You took this in, a solemn look on your face.

“When is he coming?”

“In the next few days. We have to finish clearing him, making sure he can play well with others and then he can live up here with you. Steve, Bruce, and sometimes Thor are the floor above you, and me and Pep are up on the top floor. If you ever need anything, either find someone or ask JARVIS.”

“Who’s JARVIS?”

“That would be me, Ma’am. You might recognize my voice from your first visit to the Tower.” A voice said, dropping your heart into your stomach.

“H-Hello?” You murmured, looking around. “Where is that coming from?”

“I am Sir’s Artificial Intelligence. I run the Tower, and am connected to multiple different databases, so if you have any questions during your stay, I would be happy to assist.” You wring your hands slightly, looking warily at the ceiling.

“Don’t worry about him. You’ll get used to it after a while. Come on, I’ll show you the rest of your digs.” He turned and walked into the hallway as you followed, gesturing to the living room. “This and the connected kitchen are shared with everyone on the floor. It’s like the break room you stumbled into down a few floors down, but has nicer stuff. If you have any favorite snacks or whatever, let JARVIS know and he’ll order it.” You lit up, turning and looking up at Tony.

“Does it have any jellybeans?” Tony looked at you with a strange expression before shaking his head.

“Probably not. JARVIS, put in an order of-” He looked down at you. “What flavors you like?” You looked up at him.

“I thought there were only red and green.” Tony’s eyes widened.

“Plasma, this is a catastrophe. I don’t even like jelly beans but now I’m on a mission. JARVIS, put in a bulk order of those Jelly Belly ones, all the flavors!” He clapped you on the shoulder. “If you aren’t in a sugar coma by the end of the week, we haven’t done this job right.” Steve broke out in laughter behind him with you following soon after. After a while, they left you alone, Tony going to his lab and Steve going to the gym. You walked slowly around the floor, peering into various rooms, peeking into the kitchen cupboards. You creaked open the door to one of the other bedrooms, seeing plain decorations, much like your own space, with a few personal touches here and there. As you looked around, you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

“Pro-tip. Maybe don’t go sneaking into a spy’s bedroom when you don’t know what you’re doing. If I didn’t know better, I might think you were looking for something.” You whipped around to see Natasha leaning against the doorframe, an amused smirk on her face.

“I’m sorry, Nat, I didn’t know this was your room! I was just exploring, and saw it was open, and…” You flushed bright red as you looked at the ground. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“It’s alright. I understand your curiosity. I’m not mad, just amused. Have you gotten the grand tour yet?” You screwed up your face in confusion for a second before nodding.

“Yes, Tony and Steve showed me around.” Natasha nodded before pushing off the wall and walking towards you, looking you in the eyes.

“Why don’t you go lay down. Clint and I are going upstairs for dinner tonight if you’d like to join us, but you look pretty tired.” You nodded again, smiling softly before leaving the room. You could feel Natasha’s eyes on your back as you left but you ignored it, heading to your room and closing the door. You turned off the lights and laid on the bed, feeling the softest mattress you can ever remember and falling asleep immediately.

* * *

You woke up a few hours later, cozy in bed. After a while you got up and went to the bathroom, brushing your teeth with the new toothbrush laid out on the sink. When you went to get dressed, you tried to make the best of the plain grey sweats and tennis shoes there, but eventually gave up and tied your hair back, trying not to look as tired as you felt. As you headed to the elevator, you paused and looked up at the ceiling.

“Jarvis?” You said tentatively.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“What would be the best way to make sure that, if I spark, it doesn’t hurt anyone but me?”

“Well, ma’am, as far as I or the others have been able to surmise, your enhancement is mostly bio-electricity combined with natural static electricity. So, the easiest way to diffuse it would likely be to discharge it on a non-conductive surface.” You tried to make sense of this, but shook your head in confusion.

“I mean, is there something I can do right now that would help?”

“You could try carrying a piece of metal and touching it should you feel a shock coming on.” You looked around, seeing little that would serve the purpose. You went to your room and grabbed a few paperclips from the desk organizer, putting them in the pocket of your sweatpants and walking back to the elevator.

“I don’t know what floor they’re on. Take me there?” You said, looking up at the ceiling again.

“Just one floor up, ma’am, you’ll be there soon.” The voice left you in silence, the soft hum of the elevator filling you with growing nervousness as it came to a stop. You heard loud voices, laughter, and dishes clinking behind the door before they opened. You stepped out tentatively, Nat seeing you and walking over with a beer in her hand.

“Nothing special for dinner, just pizza. We have a couple different kinds, so pick whatever.” You walked with her, looking at the pizza in slight confusion but smiling, nonetheless. You looked around, making sure everyone had some before you grabbed a piece along with a napkin. Tony and Bruce were talking at the counter, Steve and another man were sitting on the couch, watching something on the TV, and Nat walked away from you to talk to another man in the kitchen. You looked around, eventually opting for a spot on the floor in the living room. You propped your plate up on your knees and picked up the pizza. It drooped slightly, your other hand having to hold it up. When you took the first bite, you felt melted cheese and tomato basically fall into your mouth, the bread underneath not quite holding on to it. You tried a few more times to eat it but ended up just holding it with the plate and nibbling off the end.

“Hey kid, why are you sitting over there, come sit on the couch.” Steve said, gesturing to the space next to him. You started to shake your head before the other man, also blond, held up a hand.

“Come, sit! The Captain is right.” His voice was much more intense than you thought it would be. You stood awkwardly and sat on the deep couch. Steve and the other man smiled at you before turning back to the narrative on screen. You kept munching on your pizza, trying to follow the action but failing, as you assumed you had missed something important. After a few minutes, you turned.

“Excuse me, sir, what is your name?” You said sheepishly to the long-haired man on the couch. He looked at you, a huge smile on his face.

“Thor Odinson, crown prince of Asgard! Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Plasma!” He reached over Steve, taking your hand and shaking it. His grip was strong, but with the muscles showing on his arms you could tell he was barely trying.

“Dude, tone it down, she just got here.” The last unknown man said from behind you, taking a seat on the armchair next to the couch. “You can call me Clint. You’re down with me and Nat.” You nodded, trying to steady your thoughts.

“I’m- I’m Plasma, unless you want to call me something different.” Clint frowned for a split second before nodding.

“Well, unless _you_ tell me different, that’s what I’ll call you.” He turned back to the TV. You took a deep breath and tried to eat the rest of your pizza, but the grease was starting to get to you, and you decided against it. You tried to watch for a few more minutes before giving up, standing quietly and making your way out without a word. You could feel eyes on your back and tried to ignore them in lieu of making your way to the elevator. The doors closed and you took a deep breath, your nerves ebbing away.

* * *

The Avengers watched you leave, eyes flicking to each other silently before Tony paused the movie.

“Well, that was… interesting to say the least. I’ve gotta say, Nat, the idea of a chill pizza party was good but I don’t know how she handled it.” Natasha nodded, arms crossed. “I mean, it didn’t even look like she’d ever had pizza before anyway, with the way she was acting.”

“She didn’t eat much, either,” Bruce piped up from the kitchen, “which worries me. She isn’t sick or anything, but she could stand to be a little healthier. I know this is a sensitive topic, but in your… _professional_ opinion, do you think food was one of the restrictions under Strucker, Nat?” He turned.

“I think it’s a very good guess. I was watching her as she took the food, and she made sure that everyone had gotten plenty before she even took a single piece. That and she never asked for food when she was in interrogation, only water. She seems grateful for it but she doesn’t seem to expect or even necessarily want it.”

“The only time she mentioned anything to me was about jelly beans,” Tony added, “And, poor thing, she only knew there were two flavors.” He shook his head. “It’s a tragedy, really.”

“Tony, this is serious.” Nat smacked him on the back of the head and he winced, grumbling softly.

“Trying to process with humor, Widow. I’m not exactly the therapist type. Speaking of which, how did Dr. Hager-whatsit do yesterday, Steve?” Steve sighed, wiping a hand over his face.

“I don’t know much about Psychiatry, but she seems to be good for him. She’s trying to help him separate himself from the Soldier now, making sure he knows he has free will and everything. Watching the tapes, hearing everything he remembers, it’s heartbreaking.” He turned to the rest of the group. “He asked for her, you know. He seemed genuinely concerned for her. He wanted to see her.”

“Will you let them meet again?” Clint said, leaning against the wall.

“I want them to. She seems to be good for him, and it might be nice for her to see something familiar while she’s around all this new stuff. It’s a matter of safety, obviously, so maybe in a controlled environment with all of us there it might be okay. What do you think, Nat? Bruce?” Natasha and Bruce looked at each other for a moment before Nat turned to Steve.

“We have our first training session with her tomorrow, seeing where she is physically, and teaching her one or two basic self-defense maneuvers. I wouldn’t mind if he came and watched from a distance. It might be good for him to know she’s safe, if he’s that concerned about her.”

“I agree. I’ll be down there with them in case she gets hurt, so that’s one more as a buffer. Plus, just based on what she’s asked us about Bucky and what she asked me to tell him, I think he’s good for her too.” Bruce nodded, scratching his chin.

“Then it’s agreed! Palpatine and Anakin will finally be reunited in more than just a prison cell.” Groans echoed throughout the room as napkins were thrown in Tony’s direction.

“Anakin lost his right hand, dumbass.” Clint scoffed, taking another bite of pizza as conversation started up again, the movie playing once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This was a little bit of a longer one, but I wanted to get some more exposition integrated. Thank you all for staying with me so long! As always, tags will be updated as needed, and comments/questions/suggestions/corrections are welcome down below! Happy trails!


	7. Stretched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to learn how to defend yourself, while giving some advice along the way.

You finished tying your shoes clumsily, still not used to the laces from years of socks-only, and stood up. Nat and Clint were finishing up a few things in the kitchen, Nat pouring some sort of drink into a few bottles. She had said that it was a smoothie with protein and electro-somethings, and that it would be good before the workout. You took yours as she put the cap on it.

  
“It should taste like banana. I usually just make the base stuff but Clint said I should make it taste good your first couple of tries.”

  
“Shit’s nasty, Plasma! Gets the job done but Jesus,” He shuddered, chewing on a granola bar, “Stuff will make hair grow where there shouldn’t be any.” You giggled, sipping on the banana smoothie as Nat smacked Clint on the back of the head. 

  
“It tastes fine, Nat. What are we doing today, anyway? I’m not strong like everyone else, I don’t think my punches would hurt anybody.” Nat smirked.

  
“I’ll just be seeing what your body can handle safely. Endurance, strength, all that. And I want to teach you some self-defense, in case something bad were to happen.” You nodded, walking with them to the elevator as she spoke. “I won’t be teaching you a lot today, one or two basic moves that we’ll practice until you get it. Too much and you won’t remember.”

  
“I won’t be helping as much as I’m going to be the punching bag for today. I owed Tasha a favor and so I’ll be your dummy today.”  
“You’re a dummy everyday, Clint.” Natasha chuckled to the sound of Clint’s scoffing as the elevator dinged. The doors opened to a large gym, high rafters with some gymnastics equipment and landing pads, walls lined with treadmills and weights, with a large open sparring mat in the middle. A small set of bleachers sat on one side where you saw Bruce and Steve currently sitting, Bruce with a clipboard and Steve wrapping his hand. They looked up as the three of you walked in, Steve standing and walking towards you. 

  
“Good morning, Plasma. I’m glad to see you’re doing all right.” You nodded, shifting nervously on your feet.

  
“Good morning, Steve. I feel nervous, but okay.” He nodded with an understanding smile and started to lead you around the gym, showing you the various machines and explaining what they did. When you got back to the sparring mat, he gestured to Natasha.

  
“She’ll be taking care of you from here. I’ll be over at the bags if you need anything, but I doubt you will.” He clapped your shoulder and turned, leaving you with Natasha and Clint. Natasha started you off on the treadmill. You could run pretty fast, but not for extended periods of time. It felt nice to expend some energy in a healthy way, being cooped up in a bed for so long and kept in a small room before that. Natasha smiled and gave you a high-five, leading you over to the weight rack. You didn’t do any reps, per say, but more found out what you were able to lift safely. You couldn’t lift much, which wasn’t very surprising. Only about twenty to thirty pounds, and at thirty your arms had started to shake. You saw Bruce out of the corner of your eye look concernedly at his clip board and then back at you, shaking his head and writing something down before Natasha got your attention again.

  
“You’ve done very well for today. We’re going to start your self-defense soon, but I have to ask you a question. Would you be alright with Bucky watching from a distance? He won’t be allowed to come near you, especially if you don’t want him to, but he’s been concerned for you and we think it might be good for him to see you’re alright.” You thought for a second before nodding.

  
“I’d be fine with that. I kinda miss him. Now that I know he’s real and not just a dream of mine I wish I could get to know him.” Natasha had a curious look in her eye but didn’t press any farther. You waited a few minutes, drinking some water and chewing on a protein bar on the bleachers. Bruce was making notes on the clipboard, looking up once in a while as if seeing something before going back to the paper. You tried to peek at what he was writing, but it was a lot of numbers and words you didn’t understand, so you decided to ignore it.   
The door opened just as you finished your granola bar to two security guards escorting Bucky into the room. He had some sort of wrist band around his metal arm, blinking with red lights. The appendage just hung limply at his side as he scratched his neck with his right hand. He looked around the gym before making eye contact with you, the ghost of a smile passing over his face.

  
The room seemed to fall eerily quiet for a few seconds before Nat pulled you up and over to her and Clint, the two guards leading Bucky over to the bleachers and sitting him down. You smiled over to him with a small wave and he nodded, watching you carefully. 

  
“Now that we have an audience,” Nat started with a soft clearing of her throat, “let’s get you started with some breakaways. This will be useful if someone tries to grab you by the wrist or arm, and your other hand is free.” She held her hand out to Clint, who grasped it hard and held it, pulling her slightly. “The thumb is the weakest finger on the hand and is the weak point of any grip. If you pull their thumb up and away as hard as you can, you should be able to break out of the hold.” She demonstrated on Clint, prying his thumb off her wrist and twisting until he let go with a wince. “Now you try.”

  
You walked up to Clint, offering your wrist and he smiled, winking as he took it, grasping it hard. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt you, but any harder and you knew it would bruise. You stumbled as he pulled you a little, and you started to wedge your fingers under his thumb, grabbing hold of it and pulling. 

  
“Away from the grip, Plasma, like you’re trying to pull it back towards his arm. Don’t worry about hurting him.”

  
“Aw, shucks, Tasha, I knew you cared about me.” Clint rolled his eyes, pulling you again. You adjusted your grip on his thumb and pulled it away from your hand and towards his arm. It took a few tries but eventually you yanked hard, a static shock arcing with the twist, making Clint’s arm tense for a moment after letting go. Clint smirked up at you with a nod, shaking out his arm and looking at Natasha. 

  
“Good, Plasma. Was the shock intentional?” You shook your head, looking at your fingers. “Well, it’s something to consider honing then. Do it again.” 

  
You repeated the same move over a dozen times, your wrists getting sore as you switched back and forth. You glanced over at Bucky sitting on the bleachers a few times, and he seemed to be watching with interest, with every escape from Clint’s hand making him relax an increment more. His flesh hand drumming slow patterns on his knee while his metal arm hung limp to the side. After a while, Nat called for a break for you to get some water and Bruce took a glance at your wrists. They were sore but undamaged, and he smiled at you before going back to his notepad. Nat was talking to Clint, explaining the next drill. You snuck over towards Bucky, the guards gripping their weapons a little tighter but not making any moves.

  
“Hi.” You smiled at Bucky, leaning into his sightline. He tensed but turned to you, a strange look on his face. “It’s good to see you again. Did you get my message from Bruce? I don’t know if I got the Russian words right but I tried.” He nodded slowly.

  
“Yes. I got the message. I… I’m happy to see you again too. You didn’t hurt me.” His words were stilted, like each one had to pry its way out of his throat before it could make its way to you. You smiled. 

  
“I’m glad I didn’t hurt you. You just looked so sad. I’d like to get to know you now that you’re here, now that we can talk to each other for real now.” He laughed softly at that.

  
“There’s not much left to know. It’s all…” He twirled his finger by his temple. “It’s all scrambled up in here. They tell me that I’m almost a hundred years old, which is hard to believe. I remember the beginning, and now, and some bits in between, but it all feels like a fever dream.” As he spoke, his gaze seemed to drift, like he was trying to remember something. “All I know for sure is that my name used to be Bucky, that my name also used to be the Asset, and now I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.” You nodded slowly.

  
“You know, I don’t know my name either.” He looked up at you with a confused expression. “Really, I don’t. I’ve been called so many things over the years, Plasma, Patient 33, Blitzhure, Sweetheart, even жук-светляк, and I don’t know what my real name is. I don’t know who my parents were, if I lived anywhere else other than where my keepers lived, or… anything. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m still supposed to be there, like it would be easier to just be with the Professor. But when I tell Nat or Bruce or Steve that, they get this sad look in their eyes, and try to explain that the Professor was wrong, was bad.” You paused, trying to find your point. “So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to not know who you are yet, even if you were someone else before. You don’t have to figure everything out at once, and if you need someone to help, I’m here.” At the end of your quiet speech, you reached over to his shoulder and squeezed it, smiling. You saw a faint blush creep up his neck, his fingers clenching and unclenching as he swallowed. You turned back, giving him space, just as Nat and Clint turned back.

  
“Ready for more?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy this took a while to write. It's a little bit clunkier and shorter than other chapters but it got to where I wanted it to go. As always, if you have any suggestions/comments/questions/concerns, please leave them in a comment below. Tags will be updated as needed. Thanks for reading, and happy trails!


	8. Settling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky officially moves into his room on your floor, shares his past with you, and you both get closer.

You had been training for a few days now, reinforcing the breakaways that Natasha had taught you, as well as starting to work on your muscle mass. You were sore, but it felt different than when you had been sore with the Professor. It was a good, tired kind of sore that made you sleep like a rock. Bucky finally moved up to your floor, a small duffle bag of clothes all he had with him when he showed up in the elevator, escorted by Steve.

“Hi, Bucky! I’m glad you’re here.” You said, walking up to him and smiling. He nodded with a small smile of his own as he held up his duffle.

“Not really sure where my room is.”

“It’s this way, Buck. You’re between Plasma and Clint.” Steve motioned past the two of you to the open doorway. You walked with them, peeking into the room as Bucky and Steve moved around it. Bucky put his bag by the door, opening all of the doors and looking around, an almost methodical look to his face. Steve cleared his throat and made his way out. “I would stay longer, but I have a briefing with Fury on… well, on this,” he gestured to you and Bucky with a half smile, “and I don’t like being late.” Bucky rolled his eyes before catching himself and giving Steve a tight smile and nod. You looked between them and shrugged.

“I’ll show Bucky around. Go to your meeting, Steve.” You smiled at Bucky as you spoke to Steve with half-sarcasm. He huffed light-heartedly and left, leaving you giggling as you walked out to the living room. “The TV has all sorts of movies on it, and Jarvis says that he can get games and TV shows too, right, Jarvis?”

“Yes, Ma’am. And hello, sir, it is good to see you.” Bucky jumped before looking at the ceiling.

“That’s Jarvis. He’s like a robot that knows anything, basically. If you need something Jarvis probably can get it.”

“An artificial intelligence, Ma’am, but yes. If you have any questions or requests, Sergeant Barnes, just ask and I will do my best to follow.” You ran to the kitchen, pulling out a huge bag of jellybeans.

“He got me these! I only ever knew that there were red and green jellybeans, but Jarvis got me a bag that has all kinds of flavors! There’s fruits, desserts, drinks, and even weird stuff like bubble gum and popcorn! Do you want some?” You held out the bag to a slightly confused and amused Bucky, who with a small smile on his face reached out and grabbed a few from the bag. He popped them in his mouth all at once and thought.

“Blueberry. Vanilla. Raspberry. Pretty good.” He looked down at you with a small but honest grin on his face. You blushed slightly and smiled back, grabbing some yourself and setting the bag down.

“There’s a lot in the bag, so if you ever want some you can help yourself. The red and the pink ones are my favorite though.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. So, TV, jellybeans, and a bedroom. Anything else I should know about?” He looked around the space with his arms crossed casually across his chest. You pointed towards the hallway.

“Obviously you and I are at the end of the hallway, but Nat and Clint are in the other two rooms. Nat said I shouldn’t go in her bedroom, and since Clint is kinda a spy too I figured I shouldn’t go in his room either. So, other than that, there’s just the elevator up and down.” Bucky smirked but nodded.

“Steve told me that I should take the rest of the night off, get used to the space before I start training and more therapy tomorrow.” He looked down at you as you nodded back.

“I don’t have anything else to do tonight, so I could help you get settled. But, by the looks of it, you had about as much as I did when I moved in. It shouldn’t take long.” You gave him a smile and started towards his room, him following behind. He moved past you in the doorway, brushing your lower back before picking up his bag. You pointed towards the bag and sat down on his bed. “So, what sort of goodies do you have in there?”

“Well, not much to be honest. My weapons were confiscated when I got here, which I expected, as well as my different passports and any money I had, just incase I was a flight risk. I also had a book with me, one that was from… before, and they took that too. So really all that’s left are some clothes and… other stuff.” He cleared his throat awkwardly and started pulling out some shirts.

“Other stuff? What kind of stuff?” You tilted your head.

“Oh, um,” He scratched the back of his head and sighed. “It’s just… newspaper clippings.” You nodded, still confused, but wanting to hear more. “About Steve. The Avengers. Mostly Steve. From when I was still deciding what to do. I was on the run for a few months before I turned myself in. Mostly in Europe before I took a boat here. I couldn’t go through the airports, you know?” He turned to you with a small, sad smile before going back to shoving his clothes in the small dresser in the closet.

“Why not? Did you do something bad? I thought you were just a soldier.” You settled your head in your hands. He tensed, looking at you with a strange look in his eyes.

“Do you… do you not know what… who I am?” He whispered softly, like he was trying not to be heard by anyone but you. You shook your head.

“Steve said that you were mind-controlled or something, and that you worked with the Professor. They told me that the Professor was bad, or at least worked for bad people, but they didn’t say anything else about you.” He ran his hand through his hair, sitting down slowly next to you on the bed.

“I was a soldier, yes. Twice, actually, but this last time wasn’t for Uncle Sam.” He chuckled, but it sounded hollow and forced. “From what I’ve been able to remember, and with Steve and the others’ help, I was basically a super-soldier. An assassin for HYDRA. I was a mindless, powerful killing machine that was made to follow orders without question. I didn’t remember anything from before. I know a few things now.” He paused, flexing his metal hand absentmindedly. “I know that I was trying to escape HYDRA, with Steve. I fell from a train, almost died. HYDRA found me, replaced my arm, and wiped my head clean. They trained me, strengthened me, then froze me for a while until they needed me. Every time my missions would be done, they would wipe me and freeze me again.” He winced, glancing sideways at you. “That’s probably all I should tell you. I don’t want to give you nightmares or anything. Point is, I’m… I’m not a good person. They say I wasn’t in control, but that doesn’t excuse it, you know?”

You nodded once more, taking it in. When he finished, you took a deep breath and turned to him before reaching forward and hugging him, tucking your head into his shoulder. You could feel him tense slightly, but he didn’t make a move to stop you.

“I’m sorry Bucky. I’m sorry you had to go through everything that you did. I can’t imagine what it must have been like, or what it’s like now, but I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.” You pulled away slightly, looking up into his eyes. “I didn’t know who you were with the Professor, not well at least, but I know who you are more now, and I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think a lot of bad things have happened to you, but hopefully nothing bad will happen like that again.” As he took in your words, you could feel him relax ever so slightly, and you pulled away after a few more seconds. You went over to his bag, taking out the newspaper clippings and grabbing some blue tack from the desk. You hung them up slowly, being careful not to damage them, over the desk in a pattern. When you finished, you looked back at him with a smile.

“Now you can think about who you want to be, instead of who someone else wanted you to be.”

He looked up at you. You could see now that even though his face might not express much, his eyes were like open books. You could see everything in them. Fear, confusion, nervousness. He swallowed thickly and nodded, ducking his head down so his hair went in front of his eyes.

“Thank you, жук-светляк.” He whispered, gripping the side of the bed.

“I’ll leave you be for now. I think Clint is making burgers tonight, if you’d like to join. If not I can save a plate for you or bring it in here if you don’t want to eat out with us.” He nodded again as you left, closing the door slowly behind you. You walked back to your room and sat down at your desk, taking out the sketchbook Steve had given you this morning when he found out you drew.

Drawing was one of the few things the Professor let you do in the little free time you had. He had said that it was a good activity that wouldn’t take away too much energy from his work. Mostly you just drew the Professor, or your room, or things you remembered from the outside when you would travel with the Professor. Cars, buildings, sometimes even trees. You picked up one of your pencils, opting for a normal writing pencil instead of one of Steve’s fancy ones. You started to sketch out Bucky’s face, his strong chin and jaw, beard growing in stronger now as he’s lived here.

You took the most time on the eyes, shading them with a deep emotion you couldn’t quite place even as you put pencil to paper. Long hair followed, tucked behind one ear with unruly strands framing the other side of his face. After the few hours it took, you could smell the scent of cooking beef wafting in your open door from the kitchen, faint sizzling reaching your ears. Your stomach grumbled and you decided to stop, taking the page from your sketchbook and putting it up on your wall with a few other small sketches you had done that morning, quick line drawings of the gym and what you had seen so far in the tower.

You walked out with a smile, seeing Clint in the kitchen with a spatula, pulling burgers from the stove as Natasha mixed a salad. She looked up as you padded in, giving you a smile.

“I thought you’d never come out; you were so engrossed in that sketch. I watched you from the doorway for a good few minutes and you didn’t even notice.” You looked at her with surprise before blushing slightly.

“Sorry. I got so caught up in it. I don’t like closing my door when I’m alone, so I guess I just didn’t think about it.”

“It’s alright, Plasma.” She chuckled. “So, did Barnes’ move-in go well?” You shrugged, thinking.

“I think so. He didn’t have much with him, so it didn’t take long. He… He told me what happened to him. I didn’t know that he had been through all of that.” She glanced up at you before starting to slice some tomatoes.

“His past is… complicated. He’s still trying to remember a lot of things from what I know, and even that may take years with all the abuse his mind has taken. I’m both surprised and not surprised that he confided in you, though, with your history.” You looked up at her and nodded.

“I don’t remember him very well from when I was with the Professor, but I like the Bucky I know now. He’s quiet, sure, but he’s really nice to me and funny. Plus, he likes jelly beans and I think it’s hard to be a bad person and also like jelly beans.” You heard a low chuckle from behind you. You jumped, turning to see Bucky leaning on the wall by the fridge.

“Glad to know there's a fool-proof test.” He said, pushing off the wall and sitting at the island with you.

“W-Well, I just don’t think that a very bad person would like jelly beans. I was the only person that liked them when I was with the Professor, and everyone says he wasn’t very good.” You shrugged. Clint and Natasha glanced at each other before Clint pushed a plate piled with burgers and buns in front of you.

“Eat up, kids. If you go hungry tonight, it’s your own fault.” You giggled and rolled your eyes, waiting for everyone to grab some before you did, putting ketchup and a piece of cheese on your burger and biting into it, juice running slightly down your chin. You wiped it with your hand and smiled.

“This is really good, Clint. Thank you for the food.” He swallowed, halfway into his own burger as he nodded.

“You know, kid, there’s plenty to go around. You don’t have to worry about if there’s enough.” He said slowly, watching for your reaction. You paused before your next bite, flushing pink before swallowing and nodding slowly. He nodded, going back to eating and talking with Natasha, who was digging into a hefty salad. You set your burger down and drank some water, trying to calm your sudden nerves. You felt a knee bump yours and you looked up at Bucky. He looked at you with a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand.” He whispered softly. You took a breath and smiled back, picking up your burger and taking another bite. If you leaned in slightly to Bucky, he certainly didn’t object.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Thanks for waiting once more for this. Hopefully I will update a little more regularly, but I appreciate the patience either way. As always, comments, questions, concerns, and requests are all welcome. Tags will be updated as needed. Happy trails!


	9. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky share a bit of nice weather, both of you feeling drawn closer in the sunlight.

You sat in the living room, up against the large windows. They went almost from floor to ceiling, and if you ignored the fact that you were so high in the air, they offered a wonderful view of the city from above. You sat with your sketchbook, shading a picture of a skyscraper with a flock of birds around it as the afternoon sun shone brightly on the windows. You took a moment to bask in the warmth, closing your eyes and feeling the sun behind your eyelids.

“You look happy.” You heard a low voice say with a chuckle. You opened your eyes to see Bucky drying his hair. He had gotten back from training a while ago and seems to have just gotten out of the shower.

“I like the sun. I didn’t go outside much before, so I like feeling it on my skin.” You stretched like a contented housecat. “Plus, I have my day off today so I thought I’d take advantage of it.” He nodded, taking a peek at your page.

“It’s good. You remind me of Stevie from before.” He said quietly, sitting on a chair nearby. He looked out the window with a glazed-over stare. “He used to drag me to all sorts of parks when I had a day off. I’d be playin’ ball or something, or lookin’ at girls, and he’d be sitting on some bench sketching squirrels.” He was quiet for a few more seconds before shaking his head with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I got lost for a second there.”

“It’s alright, Bucky.” You shrugged. “You’re allowed to remember stuff, you know.” He shrugged back at you. You smiled and put down your book and pencil, stretching once more.

“You know, if you really want to enjoy the sunshine, why don’t you go outside?” He said, leaning towards you.

“I’m not supposed to leave the tower, Bucky, that Director said I wasn’t allowed for a while.”

“I never said you’d have to leave the tower. I was walking around yesterday and found a balcony a few floors up. It’s connected to some sort of bar and lounge space, probably Tony’s private party room,” He rolled his eyes, “And Jarvis said that I technically was allowed to be there. It’s got a great view.” His face was lit up like a little kid for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and sat back, blushing slightly. “Not that you have to go or anything, I just thought-”

“I’d love to go, Bucky!” You jumped up and pulled him out of the chair, pulling him to the elevator with book in hand. “Show me, please?” You looked up at him. He had a smile on his face that almost seemed to light up the room.

“Sure, жук-светляк, come on now.” He pulled you into the elevator and Jarvis took you up a few floors, going higher than Tony and Pepper’s penthouse. You were practically buzzing in excitement, hopping from one foot to the other and jolting out the door as soon as it opened. A large space greeted you, multiple levels with couches and chairs and a bar on the side with bottles lining the wall. You looked up, seeing that this was actually several floors built into each other with open air between, windows making up one curved wall. Your jaw dropped as you took it in before Bucky took your hand to pull you towards another door. You were so wrapped up in it that you didn’t hear him behind you, and you jumped, an arc of electricity shooting out of your hand in your excitement. He grunted, pulling his hand back in surprise and pain, shaking it slightly.

“I’m s-so sorry, Bucky! I promise I didn’t mean to; I should have had some metal in my pocket or something, I-” He shook his head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m used to it. Barely feel it anymore.” He grasped your hand again, a big grin on his face as he pulled you, gentler this time, towards the outer door. You felt your face flush, a matching grin on your face. The door opened to the warm afternoon air, wind whipping around you at the height you were at for a moment before dying down slightly. You looked out over the balcony, the view even better than that of your floor’s. You could see, between the various skyscrapers, Central Park in the distance, a faint bit of green dotted between the gleaming silver towers. You watched the thousands of people and cars below you, hurrying around in an endless blur of movement.

Bucky watched you run out onto the balcony, nearly grabbing you to make sure you didn’t fly off over the railing. Your eyes lit up in wonder, your hair whipping around your face before fluttering back down. His hands twitched, wanting to smooth your hair back out of your eyes but he kept them at his sides. Your face was flushed, the wind bringing out a rosy tint to your cheeks. He listened as you laughed in amazement, looking out into the city and pointing out various landmarks to him. You were becoming so much more of who he always imagined you were. Seeing you come out of your shell slowly, sassing the other Avengers and himself, becoming passionate about things, _living_ like he never let himself hope you could, was giving him more strength than you knew. It had only been a few weeks since he and you had met again, and he could already feel your warmth seeping into him. It had taken root, an invasive species of life in his heart, and was starting to choke out the weeds inside. New blooms are starting to grow now. He smiled, leaning against the railing and listening.

“And that over there is a big church that Steve told me about, he says that maybe someday he can take me to draw it, like he does sometimes! This is so beautiful, Bucky!” You turned to him with a huge smile on your face. He was looking at you with a soft, fond smile on his face. After a moment he turned and looked out to the city, his hair fluttering backwards.

“You’re right. It is beautiful up here. I’m glad you like it.” He said, turning back to look at you. You both looked at each other for a moment, Bucky’s eyes seeming to take in the details of your face one at a time. You blushed and looked away, clearing your throat and looking out over the city as Bucky chuckled softly next to you.

“I wish we could stay longer, but I’m getting kind of cold up here.” You turned, folding your arms to your chest.

“I’ll take you back down. You can come up without me another time, too, if you want to.”

“No!” You said, a little too quickly before starting again, “I mean, no, I liked being up here with you. We should do it again soon.” You both got inside, heading into the elevator as you tried in vain to hide your flushed face. You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you as you walked, his smirk never leaving his face. Before you got out of the elevator you felt his metal hand on your head, pushing back some errant strands of hair and tucking them behind your ear. His hand lingered for a moment before leaving. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding before smiling and leaving the elevator.

“Thanks, Bucky.”

“Anytime, doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little bit of a shorter vignette, but I wanted to give you guys something after such a long time of nothing. I'll be posting the next chapter fairly soon. As always, comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, and corrections are welcome! Tags will be updated as needed. Happy trails!


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